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Domestic violence
Domestic violence takes place between people who live together. Typically, this will be people in a relationship, such as husbands and wives, former partners and children.
While there are many forms of Domestic violence and abuse, they fall into two categories: Physical and Non-physical / Coercive Abuse.
Physical Abuse
- Hitting, pushing, burning, or any action that causes physical injury
- Sexual violence – forcing a person into having sex, taking part in any unwanted sexual act, and rape. Unconsented sex, even in a marriage, can be defined as rape
- Using any kind of force to stop a person from leaving the home, or restricting their movements
Non-Physical / Coercive Abuse
- Threatening behaviour that intimidates, scares, or leaves a person fearful for their, or someone else’s, life
- Swearing, shouting and the use of offensive language
- Behaviour that humiliates or degrades a person, whether in private or public
- Taking control of a person’s identity and / or finances (money)
- Taking away a person’s freedom, including their right to speak, their hobbies and interests
- Siezing a person’s belongings such as mobile phones
- Constantly checking a person’s emails and messages which can lead to physical violence
- Destroying personal items and memorabilia, such as jewellery and photographs
- Using someone else, such as a child, as ‘bribery’
- Deliberately undermining a person’s actions / confidence
Domestic violence and abuse is a crime.
Even if you rely on the person abusing you for practical or financial support, or you worry about losing your home and access to your children, you should seek immediate help.
Taking the first steps to exit a violent and abusive relationship takes courage.
To speak to someone in confidence for support, information or an emergency referral to temporary accommodation, contact the free 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247 or visit the National Domestic Violence Helpline website.
You can also contact Victim Support via its free Supportline to talk to someone in confidence, or contact your local Victim Support team.
Domestic violence and abuse can begin without warning. It can happen in any type of relationship regardless of social group, class, age, race, disability, sexuality or lifestyle.
Children are often silent victims. To witness, or be a victim of, domestic violence can seriously affect a child’s behaviour, health, performance at school and long-term future.
Some early warning signs that you are experiencing domestic violence and abuse include:
- Becoming a lot more critical of yourself — thinking you are stupid or fat or made to feel very lucky to have a partner
- You give up on your own opinions and think your partner is right about everything
- You feel stressed or worried; you feel anxious, nauseous or have bad butterflies. Stress can also stop us eating and sleeping properly, as well as cause headaches and stomach upsets
- You experience that ‘dreaded’ feeling more often
- You’re scared of how your partner will react to a situation or something
- You avoid saying something because you don’t want to upset your partner
- You feel scared when your partner is angry because you can’t predict their behaviour
- You feel a pressure to change who you are or move the relationship further than you want to
- You have sex because it ‘keeps the peace’
- You feel like you’re walking on eggshells
- You are made to feel responsible and guilty for the abuse. Remember: Domestic violence and abuse is NOT your fault
- You’re staying in more and seeing less of family and friends to avoid arguments with your partner
- You try to end your relationship, but you can’t for fear of a violent reaction or coercive emotional one
Support and Resources
Below is an outline of support and resources offered by each Borough.
Barnet takes a firm stance on domestic abuse, offering multiple resources and working in partnership with local agencies such as the Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service, Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC), and Women's Refuges. Their Domestic Abuse and Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy (2022-2025) aligns with the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and focuses on supporting victims while holding perpetrators accountable. Barnet also runs programs like IRIS GP Training to identify and refer victims and offers a Safe Havens initiative for those in immediate danger.
For further information, visit Barnet Domestic Abuse Resources (Barnet Council).
Brent Council offers a variety of services for those affected by domestic abuse, including:
- Emergency Support: In an emergency, always dial 999, and for non-emergencies, you can call 101 or the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline at 0808 2000 247.
- Housing Support: Their Domestic Abuse Housing Service provides tailored housing advice, including the Sanctuary Scheme, which allows victims to remain safely in their homes with enhanced security. They also help with legal advice and access to emergency or refuge accommodation if necessary.
- Local Support Agencies: Brent works with several local organisations such as Advance, Chrysalis, and the London Victim & Witness Service, which provide advocacy, housing, and legal services to victims. Specialised support is also available for specific communities, such as Asian Women’s Resource Centre and PLIAS Resettlement for Black and minority ethnic women.
- Perpetrator Programs: Support is also available for male victims and perpetrators through programs like Respect and Rise Mutual.
For more information on domestic abuse support, visit Brent's Domestic Abuse page (Brent Council).
Westminster provides multiple support services for victims of domestic abuse, including immediate help and specialized advice. They define domestic abuse as any controlling, coercive, or threatening behavior between intimate partners or family members. Available resources include:
- 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline for confidential support.
- Men's Advice Line for men experiencing abuse.
- Angelou Partnership for women and girls facing domestic violence in the borough.
- Sanctuary Scheme, which offers housing solutions for victims.
For immediate danger, residents are advised to call 999, while non-emergency cases can be reported to the police on 101. Full details on available resources can be accessed on the Westminster Domestic Abuse page (Westminster Council).
Ealing offers a range of support for individuals affected by domestic abuse, with services available regardless of gender or background. The council provides information on safety planning during and after violent incidents, and offers contacts for local support services like Advance Domestic Violence Service and Southall Black Sisters. They also recommend seeking legal advice and offer sanctuary schemes to improve home security.
For emergencies, contact the police at 999. For non-emergencies, 101 or local services can provide support. Key helplines include:
• National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
• Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
• National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428
You can read more about safety advice on Ealing's domestic abuse page (Ealing Council).
Elmbridge offers support for victims of domestic abuse in collaboration with local organizations. They direct residents to resources such as Healthy Surrey, which provides practical advice and safety information, and the North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service, which offers helpline services and emotional support. The council also works with the Surrey Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) for concerns about adults and children at risk.
If you suspect domestic abuse, you can find further guidance and contact information on the Elmbridge Domestic Abuse page (Elmbridge Borough Council).
Enfield operates a Domestic Abuse Hub that provides multi-agency support for victims of abuse. You can reach the hub via a free helpline at 0800 923 9009 or email callusdah@enfield.gov.uk. Victims of domestic abuse may also be eligible for emergency housing and can contact Enfield's homelessness service at 020 3821 1769 during business hours. Various support organizations like Solace Women’s Aid, Victim Support, and Enfield Saheli offer additional help, including accommodation, counseling, and legal assistance. For more information visit the Enfield Domestic Abuse Support page (Enfield Council).
Hammersmith & Fulham has a strong focus on addressing domestic abuse, particularly violence against women and girls (VAWG). Key initiatives include:
- The Angelou Partnership: A coalition of ten organizations offering support to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. Services include counselling, legal assistance, and housing aid.
- Specialist Domestic Abuse Court (SDAC): Recognized as a best practice model, the court focuses on victim support and holds perpetrators accountable.
- Programs for Perpetrators: Initiatives like the Drive perpetrator program, which works with individuals responsible for abuse, aim to reduce repeat offenses and protect victims.
The council works with organizations like Women and Girls Network, Solace Women’s Aid, and Standing Together Against Domestic Violence to provide holistic support. More details on domestic abuse resources and partnerships can be found on the Hammersmith & Fulham Domestic Abuse page (LBHF).
Harrow provides comprehensive support for victims of domestic abuse, including services for various ethnic, cultural, and religious groups. Local organisations like Women’s Trust offer free counselling, while specific services such as EACH Counselling and Iranian & Kurdish Women’s Rights Organisation provide tailored support to minority communities. There are also faith-based support systems such as Jewish Women's Aid and Muslim Women’s Network Helpline. Safeguarding services are available to protect vulnerable adults at risk of abuse. For more information visit the Harrow Domestic Abuse page (London Borough of Harrow).
Hillingdon offers a Domestic Abuse Advocacy Service (HDAAS), providing confidential support to both male and female victims. This includes risk assessments, safety plans, and referrals to appropriate services. They aim to reduce repeat victimisation and provide guidance for safe outcomes. Victims can contact HDAAS via phone or email, and referrals can be made by professionals. Hillingdon also supports a Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) for high-risk cases.
For further assistance or to refer someone to the service, visit the Hillingdon Domestic Abuse page (Hillingdon Council).
Hounslow offers extensive resources for domestic abuse victims, including a confidential helpline (07810 031 780) and email support. The borough also hosts a One Stop Shop at Holy Trinity Church, offering face-to-face support without appointments. The council collaborates with various organizations like Southall Black Sisters and the Women & Girls Network, providing targeted services such as counseling, legal advice, and refuge assistance. For emergency accommodation or homelessness related to domestic abuse, the council offers assessment-based support, and legal advice is available to those on spouse visas. More details can be found on the Hounslow Domestic Abuse page (Hounslow Council).
Kensington & Chelsea takes a strategic approach to addressing domestic abuse, particularly through its partnership with The Angelou Partnership, which offers specialist services for victims of violence against women and girls (VAWG). These services include support for emotional well-being, understanding the legal system, and helping vulnerable groups like the BAME and LGBTQ+ communities. For immediate help, the borough directs residents to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247). Additionally, resources are available for those with no recourse to public funds, such as through Southall Black Sisters.
You can find more information on the borough’s domestic abuse services on the Kensington & Chelsea Domestic Abuse Support page (Kensington & Chelsea).
The Kingston Domestic Violence Hub (DV Hub) provides confidential support to all victims of domestic abuse, regardless of age, gender, or background. The service works with various agencies like Refuge and offers resources like empowerment programs for women. If immediate help is needed, residents can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline or the DV Hub directly. The Kingston and Richmond Safeguarding Children Partnership (KRSCP) also addresses domestic abuse with a focus on protecting children.
For more information, you can visit the DV Hub page or the Kingston & Richmond Safeguarding Partnership.
- Services: Richmond offers various support services for domestic abuse victims, including the One Stop Shop, which provides free and confidential advice every Friday morning. It brings together legal advice, emotional support, and help from multiple agencies.
- Emergency Help: Richmond promotes the use of Bright Sky, an app for those concerned about domestic abuse, and offers resources like Safe Spaces at pharmacies for those seeking immediate refuge. For more information, check the Richmond Domestic Abuse page (London Borough of Richmond upon Thames).
- Support Services: Slough Borough Council provides comprehensive support for domestic abuse victims. You can contact Hestia, a specialist domestic abuse service offering emotional and practical support through their Independent Domestic Violence Advocacy (IDVA) service. They are reachable at 01753 477352.
- National Helplines: For immediate assistance, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available 24/7 at 0808 2000 247. Additionally, local support can be accessed through Slough Children First at 01753 875362.
- Emergency Contact: In situations of immediate danger, call 999.
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